HOW TO BECOME A STRONG PERSON AND BUILD A GOOD LIFE

Here's a description of the book: Written by a school counselor who started school at age 4 and was periodically bullied up until 9th grade, the book communicates in a down-to-earth encouraging manner important information about the tools needed to become a strong person (character, attitude, responsibility, effort, and self-control). It also explains how to use the five tools to build a good life by dealing with negative people in a positive way and by making good choices through respect for your job (which for young people is to be a student), others, and yourself. Over seventy true short stories (some humorous, some sad, some gut-wrenching, some inspiring) bring the book to life and help to illustrate the main points. (Since about fifteen of these stories are intense, and are only appropriate for ages 15 and up, they have been placed in a special section near the end of the book.) The book was written primarily to help students and young adults become more successful academically, personally, and socially. It can also be used by parents and grandparents as they teach their children and grandchildren how to become strong people.

*A free copy of the book is available upon request to school administrators, PTA/PTO members, and school board members who are considering having their school(s) become a School of Respect (please make your request by sending an email to support@schoolsofrespect.org and please include your mailing address - your email address will not be used for any other purpose). In addition, a copy of the book is available at our cost to teachers and school counselors who are willing to read the book aloud during read aloud time or a classroom guidance lesson for only $4.50 including free shipping. Reading the book aloud will spark some great discussions. If you are a teacher/school counselor, please send us your name and address along with the name of your school and a check or money order for $4.50 (made payable to Schools of Respect) to:*

Schools of Respect, PO Box 5234, Lancaster, PA 17606.

(*If you have multiple teachers/school counselors in your school who would like to read the book aloud, please group your order into one order shipped together - this allows us to reduce our shipping costs and to provide books to more schools.)

Please allow up to four weeks for your book(s) to be shipped. 

**The book can also be viewed online for free by going to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A_m_EydVdQ 

Here's a small excerpt from HOW TO BECOME A STRONG PERSON AND BUILD A GOOD LIFE:

1

"What is a strong person?

"The first step to becoming a strong person is to know what a strong person is"

Based upon my education and over fifty years of life experience interacting with strong people, I've come to the conclusion that a strong person has these five tools:

Character

Attitude

Responsibility

Effort

Self-Control

When you're a strong person, you use these tools every day to respect:

  • your Job
  • Others
  • Yourself

And by doing so, you build a good life.

What is a good life? May I suggest this definition:

1. You're loved and you give love to others

2. You live at peace with everyone

3. You have completed your education and you have a good job that you enjoy doing - a job that helps to give your life meaning and a sense of purpose

4. You earn enough money in that job to satisfy all of your needs and some of your wants

5. You truly care about other people, and it shows through your words and actions

6. You have some strong friends with whom you have a lot of good clean fun with, who support you through good times and bad, and who hold you accountable for what you say and do

7. You serve other people in some manner

Did you notice what the first letters of the five tools spells? (cares) Did you notice what the first letters of the things that a strong person has respect for spells? (joy)

"Every person is a unique treasure, more valuable than silver or gold - even if they don't have fame, lots of money, a great personality, or good looks. Don't believe anyone who says otherwise."

2

. . . What's in it for me if I become a strong person?

"What am I going to get if I do all of this work to become a strong person?

For a person to be really motivated to do something, they first must be convinced that they will get rewarded in some way if they do it. It's human nature. For example, often when I explain to a student what a strong person is and ask them to consider trying to become a strong person, they often say to me, "Why would I do that?" or in other words, "If I put in the daily effort that's required to become a strong person, what's in it for me?"

So here are some of the possible rewards from becoming a strong person:

When you're a strong person, you're more likely to . . .

. . . do your best in school (please keep in mind that everyone's best is different)

. . . get financial assistance and scholarship money to pay for your education after high school

. . . get a good job that you enjoy doing in the field of your choice after your education is completed

. . . do excellent work in your first job

. . . be promoted from your first job to a better job, then eventually to an even better job

. . . have a real sense of purpose and meaning in your life

. . . feel proud of yourself (even if others don't like you)

. . . not waste your money

. . . be able to one day afford to live in a good neighborhood

. . . be able to one day afford to buy a nice car that doesn't break down every few months

. . . be able to afford to go on vacation to one of those famous places like the place with the mouse who has big ears (my students get really fired up when I mention this possible reward)

. . . make and keep strong friends

. . . live at peace with everyone

. . . be able to not say an unkind (disrespectful) word to anyone regardless of what they say to you

. . . be able to handle people who are pains in a positive way

. . . be able to not let what disrespectful people say and do control you

. . . get along with your relatives (or at least respectfully tolerate them)

. . . be able to turn your lemons that come your way into lemonade - in other words, be able to make the best of a bad situation (lemons = problems or things that go wrong in life)

. . . not be too concerned about what disrespectful people say, do, or think (If they don't want to have a good life, that's up to them.)

. . . be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, apologize, learn, forgive yourself, and move forward after making a bad choice

. . . avoid depression when things aren't going well for you (a strong person sees their school counselor or gets professional counseling help when they are feeling really sad)

. . . be healthy in mind, body, and spirit

. . . have lots of good clean fun (including being goofy and silly, having a good laugh, and enjoying the company of others)

. . . be happy! (in other words - have joy!)

. . . have a good life

I could go on and on - the rewards of being a strong person are almost endless.

3

Character

(Baseball acronym for the parts of this tool = HIT)

Honesty - a strong person doesn't lie, deceive, cheat or steal

Unfortunately, many people when they're very young learn to lie to try to get out of trouble. My parents nipped this bad choice in the bud by giving me twice the punishment whenever I tried to lie my way out of something. So, if I broke something while fooling around and then tried to lie my way out of it by saying it was an "accident" and my parents found out the truth, I would get twice as much time in my room (with only books to read) or worse than if I had just told the truth to begin with.

True Story: When I was a middle school counselor a student, (I'm sorry that I don't remember his name, so let's just call him Jeff) came to my office and said that he was upset because he got an afterschool detention from his social studies teacher, Mr. Berger, for "no reason." I asked him if he had a friend in the class who could back up his story. He said "yes" so I called his friend down to my office. I asked his friend what Jeff had done in class to get a detention. He quickly answered, "Well he did this . . ., then he did this . . ., and finally he did this."

While his friend was telling me the truth, Jeff's mouth was wide open in astonishment. His friend saw this, looked at him, and said, "You didn't expect me to lie for you - did you?" This student's honesty was one of the highlights of my career as a school counselor.

My Armor

As I start the process of teaching my students how to become a strong person, I begin with the My Armor™ lesson. I ask them to imagine that they're a "knight" - which is easy to do because our district-wide school mascot is a "Red Knight." I explain that knights wear armor made of metal for protection from all kinds of things including arrows that fly through the air. I ask them to:

1. Put on their imaginary armor every day before they come to school.

2. Remember that they're a good person no matter what disrespectful people say or do.

3. Be ready for imaginary arrows (disrespectful things that people say or do) that are going to come their way.

4. Have the plan of letting those arrows just bounce off of their armor (sometimes even by acting like they didn't hear what a disrespectful student said to them)* Boing!

5. Not be a person who launches arrows at others, no matter what

6. Immediately switch to using "My Shield"™ if they start to feel angry or have any other strong emotion like sadness

*I tell my students that my goal before they go up to the next grade is to help them to get their armor so thick and strong that any verbal arrow launched at them will just bounce right off and fall harmlessly to the ground.

                                                              "BEE Positive!"™

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